Why is Third Time a Charm?

A couple of people have reached out and asked me why I’ve decided to reboot my blog for a third time 😳. “Third times a charm”, I say with a big smile hiding the fact that I really didn’t know the answer to that question. But that’s the beauty of following your heart – sometimes it takes a while for your head to catch up.

Driving home from this mornings preschool drop off, I had been talking with one of my best girls about building my social media presence and she told me to tell my story the rest will fall into place. My story, huh? What is my story? I thought about this question during my entire short (and cold!) run. As I was cooling off, my head finally caught up to my heart.

When Nora was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes on December 17th, 2018 I sat in the hospital room that first night unable to sleep. My head was spinning, my heart was grieving. At 3:00 am, I finally gave up on sleep. I texted a couple of my best friends to let them know about Nora’s diagnosis which ended up being a big step of acceptance for me. After that, I googled everything I could related to young children with Type 1 Diabetes. I was looking for someone, anyone, who could share in my current situation and in their own words tell me that everything is going to be ok. Much to my dismay, all I found was clinical and factual information related to kids and Type 1 Diabetes. I know these types of websites are exceptionally helpful for families who haven’t had any experience with Type 1 Diabetes, but I’m different – I’ve been managing my own Type 1 Diabetes for over 25 years. But even with this significant experience, I was still looking for a connection to someone who might have had the same feelings I was while sitting in a dark and lonely hospital room, someone who might have some tips or tricks in managing this disease in a person as young as Nora. I hope that I can be the person I was looking for, and never found, when I was most vulnerable.

Type 1 Diabetes is not a death sentence – I’m living proof of this, but it is still a difficult and overwhelming disease to manage no matter if you’re 36 or under 2. Here’s to building a community, sharing in experiences diabetes related or not, and finding the extraordinary in the ordinary.

Blog Re-Boot!

They say third times a charm…I’m a firm believer of this.  This is the third time this blog has been re-booted and I couldn’t be more excited about it!  I originally created this blog as a connection to friends and family in Chicago back in 2014.  Following the birth of my second daughter in October 2014, it fell to the wayside.  I attempted to re-start it in 2017 after the birth of my third daughter, but yet again it got sidelined.  I’m seeing a trend here…🤔 To be completely transparent – I’m not pregnant and have had no other babies.  So why am I trying this whole blogging thing for a third time, you ask?!  Because it’s not in my DNA to give up on something so important.  So stay tuned…lots of fun coming on how I find the extraordinary in the ordinary when it comes to being a stay at home mom of 3 beautiful girls, a Type 1 Diabetic, and a health and fitness enthusiast.

My Anxious Beast

After having my third girl, (yes she was planned and no we were not trying for a boy), like many moms, I struggled with postpartum feeling overload.  Ah, Mother Nature – she’s a real b**** for postpartum moms.  Not only do you have to go through the physical challenge of birthing a human, but then you then have to manage through all the crazy feels while being sleep deprived.  Thanks for that Mother Nature – much appreciated.  Postpartum wasn’t terribly different from my previous two rounds, but there was one thing that got the best of me.

In an effort to crawl myself out of postpartum feeling overload, I was reading the book “You are a Badass” by Jen Sincero.  One of the early chapters started with a quote by Lao Tzu “If you are depressed, you are living in the past.  If you are anxious, you are living in the future.  If you are at peace, you are living in the future.”  This quote spoke mountains to me.  Before reading it, I felt this feeling in the pit of my stomach but I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was – kind of like the word that sits at the tip of your tongue.  This feeling took hold of me and I started to obsessively worry about what was going to happen next in my world as a SAHM and if and how I was going to be able to deal with it.  Eventually, my thoughts were consumed by this feeling and I was not a pretty person to myself or my family.  Negative thoughts about what could happen swirled around my head over and over again.  I played out different scenarios in my head – if the baby gets up at 8:30am, how am I going to be able to feed her and get the girls to school by 9:00?  If I wake up the baby at 8:00am is she going to cry for the next two hours?  I was consumed with worry and mom guilt with every action I took.  Once I read Tzu’s quote, it was like a lightbulb clicked on.  The feeling overload I was having was anxiety.  This anxious beast was taking my already worrisome personality, putting it on steroids and making it monumentally harder to get through what were already long days.  But the simple act of labeling what I was feeling allowed me to find solutions to calm the anxious beast that lived in my head.  These are some of the things that work for me and I incorporate anywhere from 2-4 of them within my daily routine:

Yoga – One of my very best friends introduced me to yoga and I am in love (she’s pretty awesome too)!  There is nothing more satisfying than sweating out every negative thought in your head while holding poses you didn’t think you could hold.

Gratitude Journal – I started this about 2 months ago and am seriously in love with it.  Each night, I write at least three things from my day that I am grateful for.  Sometimes, they are small things like drinking coffee at the perfect temperature.  Other times, they are things that are bigger than me, like Little Sister “reading” to the baby for the first time.  Either way, having this journal forces me to examine my day and look for the good in it as the last thing I do before going to bed.

Running – I never thought of myself as a runner until I became a mom.  One day, I just forced myself to go for a short run and now, I cannot picture my life without it!  It’s my escape from reality, my opportunity to see what my mind and body is capable of.  With each mile I run, I learn more about who I am and who I want to be as a person, wife, mom, daughter.

Mantra’s – Y’all these are no joke!  They can be simple or more complex depending on what you need to hear.  Write them down on post-its and hang them front and center.  One of my favorites to say in my head when I am “negotiating” with my one or both of my big girls is “You are a Mother F***ing Rockstar!”.  You’ve got to be your biggest cheerleader!

Exercise – If I’m not running or doing yoga, I am moving.  Maybe a walk outside or a quick at-home sweat session.  For me, exercise clears my head and helps me to let go of things that need to be forgotten.  Plus, as my girl Elle says, “Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.”  ‘Nuogh said.

Being Present – This one is easier said then done, but I am working really hard on putting the phone away and ignoring my to-do list for a few minutes throughout the day so I can play with my girls, give them a cuddle, or read to them.

Get Away –  Go to the bathroom, shut the door, and take 2 or 3 minutes.  Get a babysitter and go to Target BY YOURSELF.  Have your best mom friend over for coffee – let the kiddos play outside while y’all talk inside.  Send your kids to Mothers Day Out or pre-school.  Give yourself a break – trust me, it works.

With 3 kids under the age of 5, all bets are off on what can and will happen throughout the day.  As a result, some days are easier than others when it come to dealing with my anxiety, but given the right tools I can tame the beast and run my days through my heart instead of my head.

2 years in 200 words

To get all y’all up to speed here’s what has happened over the last 2 years in 200 words and no particular order:

-Got certified as a group fitness instructor and taught BootCamp style classes 2x’s per week

-Put our travel pants on and went to the Ozarks (with kids), Austin (no kids), and London (no kids).  

-Became a runner (what the what?!). 

-Ran my first half marathon and did not die

-Had a third baby girl (yes – we chose to have a third child who ended up being a girl). 

-Got my zen on by becoming a member of a local yoga studio

-Did at least 500+ loads of laundry (that should be a Guinness world record right?!)

-Celebrated 12 years of marriage to the same person, whom I have also known for 18 years!

-Aquired the status of Aunt for the second time 

-Changed a semi-truck worth of diapers (another Guinness record?!)

-Watched the Cubs play in the World Series 

-Helped (very loose term) my parents move 15 minutes away

Beyond that, my goal continues to be keeping my 4 year old, 2 year old, and now 4 month old alive.  Easy, peasy right?!  Some days are tougher than others! 😳

Stay Tuned…

I bet you thought I quit this blog…as I tell my girls “No ma’am!”.  Stay tuned – I’ve got lots of great stories coming your way, especially since adding another baby girl to the adventure we call life.

Taking the leap

Well, I am at it again!  Not only am I a SAHM to 2 beautiful girls, President of my neighborhood association  (next up -taking over the world!), and on a committee to bring a Spanish dual language program to the girls’ future elementary school,  I decided to become a group fitness instructor.  Now before you go all skeptical on me, keep in mind two things:  I am a type A personality, therefore I literally do not know how to just do nothing.  Plus, I genuinely want to make a positive impact on people’s lives.

When I told some friends and family members about my new endeavor, there were two typical responses – the first, and most common, was “don’t you have enough on your plate?”.  I am the first to admit, there are days where I feel like I am busting at the seams running on 5 hours of sleep and trying to keep up with the girls and the house.  Add anything else on those days and watch out for my infamous water works (in case you didn’t know, I’m a bit of a crier).  The second and less common response was “that’s awesome!”  followed by “what made you decide to do that?”.  At first, my response was “I’m basically at workout class 4-5 days a week, why not get paid for it?”  Sure – it will be nice to bring a little money in per month and be able to attend workout classes for free, but after some reflection there is a bigger driver of taking this leap.

I subscribe to “A Mighty Girl” feed on my Facebook account and have been since Little Miss was born.  Wanting to raise a daughter (and now I have 2 daughters!) who is strong, independent, and kind among other things I knew I was going to need all the help and support I could get.  This news feed is just a small tool in my toolbox.  Each time I see a post, I am inspired by it and look forward to sharing them with the girls when they are a little older.  Each post shares a story of a “Mighty Girl” who made a positive impact on something either in the past or present.  As I read the stories, there is always a moment where someone inspired the “Mighty Girl” to push beyond their limits, break barriers, and make a positive impact on someone or something around them.

So why did I decide to take the leap and be a group fitness instructor?  I want to inspire those around me.  Wether it be the first-time mom who didn’t think they would be able complete a 5k, half marathon, and/or marathon soon after having their baby to the mom with three kids under 5 whose daily win is getting out the door to go to workout class.  But even more than that, I want to inspire my girls.  I want them to see that little things can produce great, big results.  I want them to feel the joy of breaking down barriers and achieving goals.  I want them to feel pride in improving something around them.  In short, I want for them to be the “Mighty Girl” in their own life, whether they be the person who inspires or they are the person who is inspired.

As Dr. Suess says “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better.  It’s not.”