I had what I like to call a “Come to Jesus” event on Monday night. You know, the moment(s) in life where you realize an important life lesson or set yourself on the right track after whatever bender (alcoholic, bad relationship, dead-end job, etc.) you just came off of. There is no doubt that I was due for one since this entire year has been pretty much fantastic despite an average, daily challenge here and there. The takeaway from my “Come to Jesus” event – take care of myself. Pretty basic instruction right?! WRONG!! There is nothing basic about taking care of me – never has been. Sure, I need the basics just like everyone else – food, water, sleep, shelter. But those aren’t always enough for me to be at my best since I am a competitive, diabetic, momma who moves at a mile a minute pushing any and all boundaries whenever and wherever possible. Oh and did I mention that I am also 25 weeks pregnant?! Not dead mind you, just pregnant. But all those things together really complicate that simple instruction of “take care of myself”.
I was cuddling with Little Miss on Monday night before her bedtime and took the opportunity to just be in the moment after a crazy, hectic day. These types of moments are VERY rare for me and as I was lost in my own world, I realized that I hadn’t really felt Little Sister moving around as much as I normally do. It wasn’t that she wasn’t moving, I just didn’t remember her moving much. This was a huge issue because Little Sister is ACTIVE at all times of the day and night. After I finished putting Little Miss to bed, I mentioned my musings to Hubby and he suggested calling the doctors because “thats what they are there for”. My first initial thought – denial. I’m totally overreacting and besides, if I call the doctors then it means that I have potentially done something “wrong”. So what did I do instead? Finished putting the 20 lbs of meat that I bought earlier that day into the freezer. After about couple of minutes, I realized that this is not about me or anything I may have done “wrong”, it’s about Little Sister and her well-being, so I made the call. The doctor called back right away and suggested I go to the ER to get hooked up to a monitor just to ensure all was well with Little Sister and provide me with piece of mind. After that call, I was an emotional train wreck. I walked up to Hubby, sobbing, and said that we needed to go to the ER. We were out the door in 10 minutes thanks to Sister coming over in less than 5.
As Hubby and I were driving, my thoughts and emotions continued to get the better of me. All I kept thinking about were the “what if’s” – what if she has the cord wrapped around her neck, what if jogging in my morning workout class was just too much for her that day, what if she is just sleeping, what if she is playing a horrible joke on me and the joke will last for the next 5 years….? When we got to the ER, they were expecting us, so within 15 minutes I could hear Little Sisters STRONG heartbeat and she was trying to kick off the monitor as soon as it was strapped onto my belly. I felt incredibly relieved, elated, proud (thats my girl!) and foolish all at the same time. So naturally, what did any emotional, 25 week pregnant, active person would do – I sobbed! When I could actually talk with the nurses, I realized that I was not hydrating enough throughout the day and it was especially HOT out that day for a newbie in Dallas. Pretty sure I spent the entire day sweating indoors! I learned that if I don’t hydrate enough throughout the day my body takes the water stock-piled in my uterus and uses it for itself. Its no wonder I couldn’t feel Little Sister throughout the day – the poor girl was probably so tired and thirsty from trying to conserve what little water my body let her have. Being pregnant and diabetic is a challenge in of itself, I certainly don’t need to add to the incredibly wonderful chaos that is my pregnant body by waging a war against Little Sister. Besides, I DEFINITELY don’t need to provide Little Sister with a reason to be in her terrible two’s for her first 5 years!
Over the last few days, I am pretty sure I have drank enough water to fill my swimming pool, but it’s all worth feeling Little Sister moving around. Even if she does wake me up at 1:00 am, 3:00 am, 4:00 am….